Advice: Connections between children’s behavior and parent’s dynamic

When a couple is unhappy with their marriage, and there is resentment and a lack of respect for each other, it’s not unusual for their children to have behavior issues.

Children understand and can sense more than parents think. I often have to point this out to couples that come see me about parenting issues.

A couple’s relationship will affect their children. Shouting matches, slamming of doors and lack of family unity will determine some of your children’s behavior and many of the issues you will have with them in the future.

Between work and raising children, it is not uncommon for couples to forget to prioritize their relationship.

It’s impossible for two people to live together without their being issues to work through.

Resentment occurs when misunderstandings are not brought out in the open and one or both individuals feel they are not being heard.

In order for a marriage to work, you have to be committed and always willing to work things out. Marriage is a give and take and it’s not about keeping score.

You both win when you are willing to finding solutions that will satisfy both partners.

When you admire and respect the person you are with, and you have the same goals for your family, it is not difficult to work through issues. Happy couples appreciate and value each other.

Marriage is about understanding and validating your partner. It’s caring enough to sometimes put them first.

Happy couples give as much as they receive and they take the time to listen to their partners. They realize that their partner’s happiness and success in life is also theirs. One of the most challenging things about raising children is the lack of intimacy you have with your partner.

Making time for each other has to be a priority. Connecting with your partner is what will keep your marriage alive physically and emotionally. Hire a baby sitter once a week and have a date night. Having uninterrupted time with your partner will make a huge difference in your relationship.

Ask the grandparents or a close friend to watch your children over night. The most important thing you can do for your marriage is to remind yourself why you fell in love. To have time to be how you were with each other before you had children.

Marriages succeed when couples understand that it’s a balancing act where sometimes it’s all about your children, but because you are both on the same team you know where you stand with each other.

Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer, and certified parent coach with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children’s Behavior and Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom.

Follow her on Twitter @PowerOfFamily, Instagram mlsalcinespoweroffamily or contact her on her blog FamilyLifeAndFindingHappy.com.