Advice: Your life is not determined by your childhood

When your childhood experiences are positive and you are raised with a loving and supportive family, you grow up with an advantage.

But not all happy childhoods lead to a happy adult life, and not everyone who has a lousy childhood has a horrible adult life.

Your childhood experiences don’t define the rest of your life, but the choices you make in life will.

As you get older, you have the ability to rewrite your story. You can follow the example of your parents if you admire the life they have lead or use them as an example of how not to live your life.

Being an adult is not easy. Some people put a lot of pressure on themselves, and when they don’t know how something will work out they worry.

It’s normal to worry, but life, like anything else, takes practice. As you live it, you are learning to solve and work through issues.

You will make mistakes, but these lessons are what give you the opportunity to make changes.

Learning who you are is a lifelong journey. Some people think that reaching your 30s, 40s or 50s, automatically gives you clarity of some sort.

You will gain experience as you get older, but at every stage in life you will deal with different issues that you haven’t before.

I have learned that almost everything in life is simple, but not always easy. The older I get, the clearer I understand that nothing is random.

Every person you meet, every situation in life is somehow connected and living through these experiences is how you grow and become a better person.

Quit blaming your childhood, your parents, your spouse or your boss for your lack of happiness and success, and do something about it.

People who complain and whine, and choose to be victims will always be stuck in that role.

Forgive those who have wronged you and let it go. Holding grudges and being bitter depletes your energy and doesn’t allow you to move forward.

Have faith in God and in your ability to make things happen.

And remember in the “real” world everyone is just figuring it out. No one’s life is perfect and without problems.

Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer, and certified parent coach with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children’s Behavior and Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom. Follow her on Twitter @PowerOfFamily, Instagram mlsalcinespoweroffamily