Advice: The tone of your voice declares intention

MARIA LUISA SALCINES | SPECIAL TO THE MONITOR

It might seem like loud, aggressive and forceful people get their way more often, but the truth is that the voice of love has more power than all the actions in the world.

If you want your spouse and your children to listen, you must speak from the heart. You must speak with sweetness and encouragement. Yelling and forcing others to listen gets their attention, but it doesn’t hold their attention for very long.

In fact, you lose people along the way when all you do is yell, criticize and judge. The tone of voice you use has everything to do with how people respond. Especially, children and animals that are attune to responding to voices as they truly are.

If you want to have loving and lasting relationships in life, you must learn how to talk to others with kindness and respect. Yelling and spanking your children forces them to act quickly, but doesn’t teach them why they should do what you need them to do.

Children respond better when you help them understand why it is they should change their behavior. The tone of your voice is a tool that creates an impression and helps communicate your thoughts and feelings with others.

There are so many ways to say things without being hurtful or putting others down. Sometimes family members forget that their spouse and children need to be treated with the respect they treat others.

Lashing out and yelling at someone you are close to is not OK. Yes, we all have bad moments when we say and do things we regret. It’s natural to feel comfortable venting with those closest to you. However, that is no excuse for hurting the people you love the most.

The soothing voice of understanding, tenderness and love has more power to change outcomes and influence a life. Speak from your heart and you will express your highest and best self.

Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer and certified parent coach with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children’s Behavior and Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom. Follow her on Twitter at @PowerOfFamily, and on Instagram at @mlsalcines. You can also contact her on her blog FamilyLifeandFindingHappy.com.