BY MARIA LUISA SALCINES
Are your children yelling at you or at each other? If they are, you might want to examine the way you and your spouse are speaking to them.
Children don’t just pick up bad habits outside the home. Parents need to remember that children are watching and listening to everything they say and do.
If you want your children to be soft spoken and respectful, you need to follow the same rules.
When you reprimand your child, there is no need to yell at him or her unless it’s a safety issue and a very strong “No or Stop” is necessary.
Your interaction with your child should always be responsive, affectionate and kind.
Adult life isn’t always easy, but your problems should not be taken out on your children.
When you are short tempered, impatient and gruff with your child, you are modeling the behavior he or she will eventually use with you.
Parents should always refrain from being sarcastic with their children or scaring them with threats in order to get them to behave.
If your child speaks to you with sarcasm or if your child is angry, out of control, nagging, and whiny, the odds are this has been how you have been interacting with your child.
Everyone is entitled to having a bad day. The one day that you do lose it with your child will not affect his or her character or your relationship with them.
But you are cultivating a negative home environment when yelling and harsh words are part of your child’s daily life.
Children need to feel loved, understood, and accepted for who they are. They need guidance, love and support from their parents.
Next time, you are upset about something or you are dealing with a serious issue let your children know in a calm and kind voice that you are having a bad day and that you need some alone time, which is a great lesson for them. It shows your children a positive way to regroup and calm themselves down.
Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer, and certified parent educator with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children’s Behavior and Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom. Follow her on Twitter @PowerOfFamily or on Instagram at mlsalcines. You can also contact her on her blog FamilyLifeandFinding Happy.com.