What do I want? An important question that always changes

We think we've finally reached a point when all is clear and we know exactly where we're headed.

Then out comes a surprise.

Sometimes, hopefully most of the time, the unexpected change brings us joy and happiness. But, regardless, making changes give us a jolt and remind us not to get to comfortable because the ride is not over.

Life would be easier if when we were born we came with a schedule of some sort, a document that described the events and experiences we would face.

This would help us navigate through all the difficult decisions we have to make.

But, if we had the choice would we really want that?

Isn't part of the fun getting on the ride and waiting to see where it will end?

Maria Shriver's new book, Just Who Will You Be?, is one of those books every high school graduate should receive.

It's the kind of book you take out and re-read every so often so as not to forget that change is a part of life.

Every stage in life is a new beginning.

We graduate from high school, college and begin working.

We get married, have children, some of us get divorced.

We lose those we love, we move, become grandparents or unexpectedly change careers.

Every event in our lives brings us to a point when we have to stop and ask ourselves, "who am I now?" and "what is it I want today?"

The truth is what we want constantly changes.

What we needed 20 years ago is not necessarily what we want now. We evolve, we become a different person and our needs change.

The experiences we have in life affect us; they change us, and hopefully help us grow into a better person.

Shriver wrote this book when her nephew asked her to speak at his high school graduation. She kept turning him down because she felt she couldn't possibly give these young people advice when she felt so lost herself.

When her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, became governor of California in 2003, she gave up her job at NBC News; all of a sudden without her working persona was unsure of who she was.

For most of her life she had felt her life was preordained; she always worried about what others would think if she wasn't fulfilling the roles people expected of her.

Now, she realizes that each and every one of us is separate from our jobs and our families. All of the roles we have are a part of the person we are. The most important thing is to figure out what we want and to live without worrying about what others expect.

As long as we don't lose our core principals we need to give ourselves permission to evolve and become who we need to be now.

Just who will you be?

And what do you want?

Those answers will always change because of our age and circumstances - and that is the beauty of life.

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Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer, certified parent educator and corporate empowerment consultant with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children's Behavior, Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom, and Redirecting Corporate America. Contact her at her Web site at www.redirectingchildrenrgv.org.