MARIA LUISA SALCINES: Be an encourager

Parents are often quick to point out all the things their children do wrong, but they don’t take the time to encourage their child’s positive behavior.

A simple “thank you” or a pat on the back for doing something right can be a turning point for a child who misbehaves.

Children who act up do so for different reasons. It may be there is a new baby in the family or you are working long hours and not spending enough time with your child. Sometimes it can be something that happened in school that they were not able to handle and are upset about.

Instead of just reacting to misbehavior, you need to analyze why they are misbehaving, and then take the appropriate measure.

When you take the time to figure out what the problem is, you can deal with the reason the child behaves the way he does.

If you believe your child is a troublemaker, he will never learn to behave differently, because you will unconsciously never give him the opportunity to improve his behavior.

When children are criticized for their behavior, they become discouraged, and eventually they stop trying.

When you have a child who is misbehaving all the time, it might seem easier to just point out what he is doing wrong and send him to timeout.

The problem is that punishing a child without that child understanding why and letting them know how they can improve their behavior will not improve the situation.

A child who misbehaves is usually being bombarded with criticism for his or her behavior — always being told what not to do. They receive negative remarks that will not help them climb out of the behavior stage they are in.

When you have a child who is always misbehaving, you have to find a way to change his attitude about himself.  Children who misbehave are discouraged and they are asking for attention.

The most important change you can make in your home is to start encouraging your child by using positive reinforcement.

Instead, of pointing out that he left his toys thrown all over the room, point out the one toy he picked up and put back on the shelf. If your child sits at the dinner table the first time you call your children, acknowledge him or her.

Acknowledge all the things you like about your child’s behavior and be sincere about it. You will eventually see an improvement in his or her behavior.

Always look for the potential in your child. When you encourage your children, you motivate them to improve their behavior and to cooperate.

Encouragement is one of the most powerful weapons a parent can use to improve their child’s behavior.

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Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer, and certified parent educator with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children’s Behavior and Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom. Follow her on Twitter @PowerOfFamily or contact her at her website at www.redirectingchildrenrgv.org.