Watch Your Language

Most kids go through a teen stage during which they think using obscene language is cool.

Somehow they find the way to place the "f" word or the "s" word in everything they say. The more they use these words, the more powerful they feel.

There will be days when you wonder what happened to your little boy or girl. From one day to another the person in front of you will act as if he or she doesn't care about anything. They become to cool to be a part of your family.

Sometimes when you speak to them they will respond with a grunt or a look of disgust. Everything you say will bother them.

Experts explain that this teen stage is normal and that eventually your children will outgrow it, but that doesn't mean parents should allow their children to be disrespectful and get away with breaking rules.

Rude, obnoxious behavior continues to be so regardless of your children's age. And putting up with it without setting limits is asking for trouble. When we allow our children to act or dress in a way that we consider inappropriate then we are not doing our job.

The language children use on a daily basis, the way they disagree, give and accept compliments say a lot about your child.

Accepting that your child is going through a phase and being understanding is important. But not holding them accountable for their behavior and teaching them the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior will hurt them in the long run.

Many parents want to believe that their children will just snap out of it; that they will just wake up one day and be the kind of person they had always envisioned him or her to be.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. The everyday conversations, the little drops of advice, the arguments, the grounding when necessary - these are the things that eventually help your child become a grown-up.

Don't let your children get away with being rude. Make them say "thank you." Without judging or criticizing them, point out the things they do that you find inappropriate.

Teach them how to give and accept compliments. Point out the great things they do. Let them know you understand they are growing up and you respect their needs. But, most importantly teach them the values that are important to your family.

Is it easy? No. There will be days you will want to scream. Days when you wish you could fall asleep and wake up five years later and be done with this part of parenting.

The thing is if we don't have the patience - if we don't learn how to talk to our children and we give up - then we are throwing our kids out into the world running the risk of losing a wonderful person.

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Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer, certified parent educator and corporate empowerment consultant with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children's Behavior, Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom, and Redirecting Corporate America. Contact her at her Web site at www.redirectingchildren.org.