ZACK QUAINTANCE: Cure for stomach flu? Lots of DVDs

I fought my urge to vomit. I lost. I dragged my dehydrated body to the bathroom and bid farewell to the lemon lime Gatorade in my stomach. Yet, As I trudged back to my couch I felt smug and satisfied.

For the past decade, I have spent too much money on DVDs. Movies fill a 4-foot tall rack in my living room. Every financially responsible person in my life has scolded me for my habit.

A recent severe bacteria infection in my stomach justified every purchase. Confined to that couch, I couldn’t choke down a banana without vomiting. I could, however, distract myself from the pain and revisit some of the best storytelling in the last eight decades.

I present, the top five films I watched while battling a gut-wrenching stomach illness.

5). The Shawshank Redemption – This is one of my favorite feel-good movies of all time. I know, that sounds weird. It’s a story of a man falsely imprisoned for the murder of his wife and her lover. He must use his wits and intelligence to fend off rape and a murderous warden. The adversity makes the payoff sweeter. I feel incredible when I watch the main character smash his way into the pouring rain as a free man.

4). I Heart Huckabees – This movie, which has a star-studded cast including Dustin Hoffman, Jude Law and Naomi Watts, features the right mix of irreverence and smart humor. Also, Mark Wahlberg riding his bike through a traffic jam while wearing a firefighter’s outfit is one of the funniest moments captured on film this decade.

3). The Royal Tenenbaums – After enough trips to the bathroom, my body wore down. I wanted to lie on my back with my eyes closed. I popped in this movie because the dry, witty one-liners and quality soundtrack make it fun even with your eyes shut.

2). Back to the Future – Do I really need to explain why this movie is awesome? Or can I just submit the following: Marty – “That’s heavy, Doc.” Doc – “Heavy. There’s that word again. Is something wrong with the earth’s gravitational pull in the future?” Exactly.

1). Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – By sick day number four, I felt like I was cheating the system. Naturally, I watched this movie. This film is the pinnacle of ditch-day fantasies. True, I spent my time sleeping, groaning, and cursing a stupid decision to eat in Mexico. I didn’t catch a game at Wrigley Field, wreck my rich friend’s sleek roadster or lead a parade in song and dance. However, thanks to my unwieldy DVD collection, I experienced those things anyway.

Zack Quaintance covers features and entertainment for Festiva. You can reach him at (956) 683-4447.