Women's shelter hosts vigil to raise awareness about domestic abuse

McALLEN — The woman stood proudly at the podium and never shed a tear.

Some among the audience were not so strong.

“I am Amelia Flores,” the 26-year-old told the silent crowd in Spanish outside the Mujeres Unidas office Thursday evening. The attractive young woman was clad in black, attired in an elegant pencil skirt and polished stilettos. Her speech was brief and to the point.

“One Saturday, while I was earning a certificate to become a substitute teacher, my ex-husband went to my house, where my mother was caring after my children, and he assassinated everyone. Then he shot me twice and beat me.”

The young woman was at the University of Texas-Pan American on Dec. 6 when her estranged husband drove to her mother’s house and shot Flores’ three young children and their grandmother in their sleep. When Flores got home, Roberto Aguirre Rojas turned the gun on her, shot her twice and then beat her over the head with the .22-caliber rifle. She was eventually saved by her father, who smashed Rojas over the head until the rifle’s stock broke into two pieces.

The trauma left Flores in a coma that lasted several days.

“I awoke from a nightmare,” she said, “and I found myself in one that was worse.”

Her children and mother were gone, she learned.

“It’s like falling in a hole with no end,” Flores said. “My life feels dry. It’s winter every day. I can’t sleep, because I long for that one kiss (before bed).”

The massacre was among the worst cases of family violence in the Rio Grande Valley in recent memory and perhaps ever. The months that followed were immensely painful for Flores and her remaining family.

But she persevered.

The Rio Grande City native has continued studying at UTPA. She plans to graduate in December with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and sociology.

Her talk at the Mujeres Unidas office, 529 N. Cynthia St., was part of a vigil to commemorate the lives of those who have died as a result of domestic abuse in the past year and to encourage those at risk to speak up and get help. Mujeres Unidas is Hidalgo County’s only women’s shelter.

“Family violence affects us all,” said vigil coordinator Cecilia Mendoza. “People should come forward and help victims instead of asking why they stayed (with their abusers).”

Flores urged women there to become educated and self-reliant.

She recalled instilling a thirst for knowledge in her children, who had each studied a third language before their lives were cut short late last year.

She also spoke of the day she dropped out of high school in La Joya. Flores had already given birth to her youngest child but would later earn a general equivalency diploma and enroll in classes at UTPA.

“Even with this pain, this physical and emotional pain, I keep trying,” she said. “Women need to know that you can do it, and I am the living proof.”

Some women wept softly during her speech, recalling their own abusive partners.

“I received a lot of beatings. … My ex-husband told me that I was ugly, that nobody else would want me with my children,” Irma Linda Chavez said in Spanish, her voice breaking as she fought back tears. “But I persevered and now I am very happy.”

The 36-year-old Weslaco resident said she divorced her abusive husband three years ago and took up jobs as a care provider and as a vendor at a local flea market. The man had banned her from working when they were married.

Other speakers included the son of a woman whose husband admitted to killing her in August 2008 and disposing of her body in a canal. Manny Zepeda traveled from Memphis, Tenn., to attend Thursday’s event. He described his deceased mother, Josefina Lugo, as a “strong, faithful, courageous woman.”

“Abuse cannot be underestimated,” Zepeda said. “I remember thinking something like this could never happen with a 72-year-old man and a 68-year-old woman. It did not seem possible. But there is a fine line between abuse and death.”

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Ana Ley covers law enforcement and general assignments for The Monitor. She can be reached at (956) 683-4428.