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12 Days: Mission mother struggles with being sole provider for five children
The United Way is accepting donations — including, but not limited to, clothing, food, furniture, toys and money — for the families of this series. To donate, call (956) 279-9050, (956) 279-9051 or (956) 279-9052 or mail donations to P.O. Box 187, McAllen, TX, 78505. The United Way of South Texas is located at 1200 E. Hackberry, Suite F in McAllen.
You can also make an online donation on the United Way of South Texas website at www.unitedwayofsotx.org. The Monitor is not accepting donations.
Maribel Leiva – Mother – Age: 42; Female; Shoes: 7.5; Shirt: M; Pants: 8
Angela Salvatierre – Daughter – Age: 9; Female: Shoes: 12.5; Shirt: M(youth); Pants: 10
Cesar Sanchez – Son – Age: 8; Male; Shoes: 8; Shirt: 8/10; Pants: 10
Moises Sanchez – Son – Age: 5; Male; Shoes: 12; Shirt: 6; Pants: 6
Jose Sanchez – Son – Age: 3; Male; Shoes: 4; Shirt: 3 year; Pants: 3 years
Angel Leiva – Son – Age: 7 months; Male; Shoes: 9 mos.; Shirt: 9 mos.; Pants: 9 mos.
MISSION - The Leiva family’s small artificial Christmas tree will remain in its box this year, as it has the past two years. Even if the children had lights and ornaments to decorate the two-foot plastic tree, their holiday spirit would be dampened by the lack of presents to place under it. Maribel Leiva works hard as a cook at a Mission restaurant to provide as a single mother for her five children, but she cannot afford many luxuries, and sometimes not even the "What can I do?" she said, in Spanish. "Last year, we didn’t do anything because I was really fat, pregnant, and we didn’t do anything. And I had problems with the baby’s father because he would go away. I think this year will be the same. Every year is the same."
necessities.
The 42-year-old mother wakes up early every day to take her three oldest children to Marcell Elementary School and the two youngest to a nearby day care center. Then she spends most of her days working in cheap shoes to make enough money for rent, bills, day care and other necessities. It’s worth it to Maribel, though, because she sees that her children are working hard in school, she said. "It’s very difficult to have five kids, and like I tell them, ‘My obligation is to work, and yours is to study, because I work for you guys to pay bills … and yours is to study so you can come out ahead and prepare yourselves,’" she said. "They see the sacrifices I make, and that motivates me." Up until a few weeks ago, Maribel worked a second job at a fruit stand, but she couldn’t justify the $20 per day she’d get for the 20-hour stint. "I would pay $10 (for babysitting), sometimes even $12, so how much would that leave me? Only like $8," she said. "I would get home at 9, and it’s hard … it’s five children. I have to cook, bathe them and do it all again the next day and every day." ‘IT’S DEPRESSING, BUT I HAVE TO KEEP GOING’ The tiny apartment leaves little room for living. Four of the children sleep on a large mattress in the one bedroom with their mother, and the baby in his crib. They all share one bathroom, and they only have one small closet for storage. "I want to move … closer to the school," Maribel said. "I want to look for an apartment. Not now, later on." The dining room serves as storage space for the spare furniture and toys that can’t be used because of the tight quarters. A kitchen table and chairs barely allow room for the front door to open. Maribel purchased one luxury for the family: cable. A used, stained loveseat presses tight up against the 19-inch television, where the children watch their favorite TV shows. Mattresses and more unused furniture fill up the rest of the living room, except for one corner where Maribel keeps the family’s clothes. The piles of folded pants, shirts and skirts stack almost 3 feet high. "People give me clothes," Maribel said. "But the oldest one, she’s outgrowing her pants." Sometimes the children fight, Maribel said, because there is so little space. "I tell them that later on we’ll see what happens," she said. "It’s depressing, but I have to keep going." A GIVING SPIRIT Maribel doesn’t rely on others to pay her bills or rent, but on occasion, her aunt, who lives in McAllen, will come by with bags of clothing. The children and Maribel sift through the bags of hand-me-downs and pick out pieces that will fit them now and whatever they might grow into later. Anything Maribel can’t use, she packs up and takes to rancheros in Mexico. There are those poorer than her family, Maribel said. "Sometimes the clothes they give me are way too big," she said. "I come from a very poor country, so I never throw out. Instead, I wash it and I give it away in Mexico." Maribel would love nothing more than to devote more time to her children, but circumstances have left the responsibilities in her hands, alone. When she considers the hardest part of her job as a mother and sole provider, she tears up a bit, admitting the responsibility is a struggle. She has a restraining order against her ex-husband after he beat her with a telephone while she was pregnant with her youngest child. "He would wish for my baby’s death when I was pregnant," she said. "I think in his madness, he was coked up and would say, ‘I hope he dies; I hope they give him to you dead.’" Weeks before Maribel’s due date, her doctor saw the bruises and helped her report her ex to the authorities. HOW YOU CAN HELP Recently, Maribel’s washing machine broke and it cost $50 to repair it. "That threw off my rent; I haven’t paid the rent and I’m trying to get money to pay the rent," she said. The one small heater the family of six used to heat the bedroom they share nearly started an electrical fire one night, burning out the plugs. Maribel does have a vehicle, but the eight-cylinder monstrosity eats up gas so quickly that she’d rather sell the truck and buy a minivan with better gas mileage. Currently, though, she can barely afford toilet paper, toothpaste, bleach and soap. The family is always in need of new clothes and shoes since the children are growing fast. Christmas presents are far from Maribel’s mind, but she wants her children to enjoy the holidays. Nine-year-old Angela wishes for a Nintendo DSi; the two oldest boys, Cesar and Moises, dream of getting bicycles and toy cars from Santa. Maribel doesn’t wish for frivolities for Christmas. She would be satisfied with good quality kitchen shoes, so she doesn’t slip at work. "For me, it’s expensive to buy $20, $30 shoes for the kitchen," she said. "I’ve been wanting to buy them for a year now, but whenever I am ready to buy them, I get a bill for this, and a bill for that and I can never get them." Amy Nichol Smith covers features and entertainment for The Monitor. She can be reached at (956)
683-4420.
