Wife, son salute soldier in Iraq on Father's Day

When it's time to put his son Cheston to bed, U.S. Army Spc. Caleb White never takes "restless" for an answer. He lays Cheston on his baby blanket, folding in each corner until it's wrapped up tightly, and then carefully rocks the fussy newborn to sleep.

The 20-year-old is as skilled a father as he is a solider.

In March, Caleb's hands-on daddy duties were put on hiatus when he was shipped to Iraq. His first Father's Day will not be spent with barbecue, cake or holding his now-7-month-old son. Instead, he'll spend the holiday at Forward Operating Base Normandy in Muqdadiyah, Iraq.

His wife Amanda said she's disappointed both father and son are missing out on the joyous occasion.

"One of the most important things I think a man could have is to be there for his first Father's Day," she said. "I mean, there's always more, but it's his first born and something he would have liked to be there for," she said.

Amanda, also 20, said her husband never predicted the situation. The two of them - she from Harlingen, he from Maine - never even anticipated meeting. But they made one another's acquaintance via a mutual friend after Caleb moved to the area to work with his uncle's construction business. They married a year later.

He enlisted in the Army in July 2007, about one month after they were married. She was initially against it, she said, but supported him nonetheless.

The reality of having her husband in the Army didn't hit her until an unexpected but welcomed pregnancy came upon the young couple while Caleb was stationed at Fort Stewart in Georgia.

Caleb was supportive during the pregnancy and through Amanda's recovery from a C-section, as well as "an involved dad" in Cheston's first months. He'd helped raise his youngest sister, now 5 years old, so he had a lot of practice and parenting skills. Caleb's departure meant the loss of a skilled partner for Amanda.

"It was challenging. I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but with the classes I took on the base for first time mothers, they helped a lot," Amanda White said.

But being away has not been easy on her husband, who is a third-generation soldier, "but he knows he just has to go on," she said,

The distance, however, hasn't inhibited Caleb's involvement entirely, she said. In fact, he's left strict orders: His son will walk by the time he's 8 months old.

"He taught his baby sister to walk by 8 months," she said. "He was like, ‘Teach him 20 minutes a day.'"

Amanda White said her husband knows there's only so much he can do for his son while he's away, and looks forward to reconnecting with him when he returns in March 2010. But even though he can't be with Cheston this Father's Day, she wanted to make it special nonetheless.

He has only asked her for two things: a picture of Cheston and pictures from her own celebrations with her dad. So she sent him a tic-tac-toe board game that holds pictures of his son in every slot. It's a small token, she said, but they're the Xs and Os that will have to do - at least for now.

As for Cheston, she said, "I'm going to tell him that his dad was busy trying to make a country better and help other people that need help."

Sandra Gonzalez covers features and entertainment for The Monitor. You can reach her at (956) 683-4427.